In the year 2000, the IKEA corporation took out an ad in the Ottawa Citizen noting (among other things) that about a quarter of their Ottawa customers and a smaller percentage of their Montreal customers would rather clean their closets than have sex. Am I in that number? Three guesses, and the first two don’t count! But I do have a kitchen closet that badly needs cleaning. Its floor area is a veritable slalom course; its shelves are nearly as bad. If I don’t do something about it pretty soon, I might trip and fall. Or, I could be overcome by the stench of rotting potatoes and onions which have reached the intermediate science project stage of overripeness. Either way, it looks as if I shall soon have to take the plunge, IKEA or no IKEA. . .